Sunday, January 30, 2005

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Ephesians 6:7And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you're really serving God.

Scripture is great


Posted by Mary at 7:38 PM


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You know sometimes I fear going to college cuz of how alone I'll be and then other times I can't wait to be alone and fully control my life and surroundings. Well at least with most things. Ya know. I can't wait to learn what I want to and not worry about stupid classes that teach you nothing. I wish I knew some way to get everything I need to done and have energy to still be happy. I think it's either I do what I should/ need to and be pooped all the time or not get everything done and put on a smile. Coffee has started to make me more sleepy So I think I'm not going to drink it anymore maybe I'll do tea in the mornings and just have coffee when I go to coffee houses with friends. I guess we'll see. So yeah. Random Thought of the day. God said treat your body as His Temple. That makes being lazy about working out or getting up and looking nice vs. Not seem horrible. If I was to truly do everything for God I would want to do everything the best I could. Why does that seem so hard. It really shouldn't be. Maybe it's cuz I think about it all too much. I donno whatever it is it's hard to always do everything full out. I'm just not geared that way. I feel like a need a retreat though I know that getting away would just make it harder to do things here. Sigh. I just need to get my act together. I think what would be helpful would be getting ready for college like really. First by getting rid of things I don't need and packing up things I don't use and living on only what I need. I think that would help a lot. I'm not sure why maybe it's cuz I was so much happier in the apartment because I had what I needed and nothing else it made me happy. So yeah. Though I know I can't do that alone sooo if anyone happens to have some free time and wants to help me out in my room let me know hehe. So more pouring out of my heart. Part of me wants to leave the things that tie me here so I feel free to go to college. (Like some church things) Just kinda slow back away from going all the time and things like that. Maybe go to Mr Cromwells church this last few months and enjoy that. I donno. But part of me wants to keep what I have there as long as possible. I know I can't/ won't leave the youth group until I have to because it's been a big part of my life and I'm a YLT so yeah. But I think I can pull back from things like CR and Sunday church. (kinda wanna say in Sunday school so I see some people but yeah) And I think I'll stay in bible study but leave the choir and youth band behind. Also at school I donno much I can leave there that I haven't already maybe back away from ASL club but I'm pres so maybe not lol. Home it totally not an option lol. But I do wanna quit work but I donno I'm about to be a shift leader and they need me to train people so I donno. Maybe after I finish that I'll go. (btw Matt (the owner) just hired this really cute guy hehe he's not my type and kinda rude but hey fun to look at lol) Wow so this is a very random posting of just my thoughts and feelings at the moment. I think I'll stop and let ya'll try to make sense out of that lol. Have fun. Tootles


Posted by Mary at 3:50 PM



Tuesday, January 25, 2005

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So Mary is in a totally jumpy happy mood at the moment. No real reason why but it might be that I had ice cream at work lol. That just might do it. It def made 4 hrs seem like 2. So yeah. Nothing really interesting going on just yet maybe in a week or two. Though I do have to choreograph this thing and she has given us like no class time so I don't have anything done yet and I have to have taught half of it to two people by tomorrow so yeah that's totally not happening and I wasn't thinking when I signed up for a time to show cuz it ended up being at 5:30 I think so I don't think I'll be able to go to church cuz it will last like 20 min and then yeah they'll be gone in the vans by the time I would eat din din and drive there so yeah. Oh well a break will be nice. OK well I think I shall stop my talking frenzy is over. Tootles


Posted by Mary at 8:46 PM



Saturday, January 22, 2005

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My purpose in life: To serve God the best way I can being a sinful human, to be His child.

Many people struggle with the meaning of life forever. I think I found my meaning when I committed myself as a Christian. I'm always amazed at the different ways God will work through people it's rather fascinating.
Happiness is so fleeting sometimes I wonder why people seek it. The Joy God gives you is everlasting even in times of anger and frustration. Sometimes we as humans choose to ignore it but the joy God gives us will always be there for us to enjoy. Well I think I've said enough.


Posted by Mary at 8:27 AM



Friday, January 21, 2005

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I want to tell you. I need to tell you. sigh

I hate drama. It suxs and personally I think sophomores need to grow up cuz right now they sux too.

My life is being flip flopped again. How many times can this happen before I leave I mean seriously. ARGH

Why is there so much hate and dislike?? God told us to love. Love is a wonderful thing why does it seem so hard right now??

I want to help but you won't let me. I want to be a better friend but I can't do that until you let me. I wish I knew how to help you.

Empty relationships. I never thought of us that way but if that's how you feel alright then. I wish I could be what you want. I know I can't but I pray you find what you are looking for.


Posted by Mary at 5:19 PM



Tuesday, January 18, 2005

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I was told to let go and if they come back then it's meant to be or something to that effect. I suppose but it's sad. I'll be gone, he'll be gone. When you know you've lost someone it's hard to find yourself.


Posted by Mary at 9:55 PM



Sunday, January 16, 2005

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Well Now that I'm back I guess I should say so. I am soooo glad I'm not in middle school again. That was so insane. My poor sister got all sick :-( but she is getting better now. I don't really remember the hw I have but that's pretty normal I guess when you don't think about it for a while. I don't think I had much though I do remember something about lots of quizzes coming up ugh. But as for last semester I think I did wonderfully on my grades yes there was the gross 79 in AP English IV but that's a freakin a hard class and I did everything I could to make that better I just couldn't bring it up. But that was my only grade below an 85 so I'm ok with it. SO yeah nothing new on College yet just that I will def miss a lot of you. The more I think about it the more I realize who I will be missing and it makes me sad. I know that's just kinda part of life but there is much sadness. At the same time though I want to be able to control my life that was one thing about the YLT retreat I really felt like an adult besides a few things I was basically like an adult helper which was a cool experience. SO yeah that's enough Tootles.


Posted by Mary at 2:55 PM



Wednesday, January 12, 2005

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What if you could take away someone's pain? Would you do it?? How could that completely change their strength? I know I've gone through a lot but I would not change any of it for the world it's made me who God wants me to be. Though I donno if you had the ability to take away others pain would it be worth them going through it all? Sometimes I say yes because of who it makes you afterwards sometimes no because there are other ways to learn but yeah. What do ya'll think??


Posted by Mary at 3:29 PM



Friday, January 07, 2005

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So this blog is for the only faithful commenter on my blog. Sam! So if it wasn't for her I so wouldn't update this thing much. I like comments, comments make me wanna update more. The less comments the less likely I am to post therefore Sam has kept me posting. BTW I so love reading her comments because you know they are what she is thinking (or was) as she reads the blog. That's really why I post most of the time I just want a response to what I'm thinking. Yes there are sometimes when I really don't want a response that I just wanna get things out but lots I like responses. So thank you Sam this update is just for you!


Posted by Mary at 9:26 PM



Thursday, January 06, 2005

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Well ok so I don't have much to say here but I thought I would write since it's been a few days and I don't have much else to do. I've been really tired lately and have bags under my eyes but I'm so not sure why. I mean I get a good amount of sleep more than most people my age why would I thus need more sleep. I donno. Oh well Off to bed early for me today.

Only 17 more weeks left minus our off time. I can not wait to go to college though I have many times re-evaluated which college to go to. I think I might go to Ozarka now I like it better from what I've seen. But I think I need to visit both places to make a final decision. Though in both cases I need to finish up a few things in applying. I have started to fill out scholarships in hope I'll get at least a few we shall see. Though I NEED to get the ACT out of the way grb. Not fun oh well. So yeah that's my deal with College.

Ok so I can think of nothing else to write here if you happen to want to hear about something let me know and maybe I shall take your advice and write something on it. ttfn


Posted by Mary at 7:24 PM



Monday, January 03, 2005

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Hey everyone Mary is in a bubbly mood don't ask why I donno but it's fun!!! I hope everyone enjoyed the break I know I did. OH OH OH BIG NEWS My cousin Ben and Hilary are ENGAGED!!! AYYAYAYAYAYAYAY How very very exciting!!! I can't wait. I feel so refreshed because of the break I soo needed it. I donno what exactly I'll do when I'm older and don't have long x-mas breaks I just donno. So soon comes some big steps for me. I think I'm finally somewhat close to ready and able to make those steps I know it's still going to be hard but I'm getting there. Much better than I was at the beginning of the year. I've taken up some old hobbies recently like cross stitching and I hope to start knitting here soon. My grandma gave me a book with needle work in it so hopefully I'll finally get that started before I leave. Though I know I won't be able to keep it up when I'm gone but oh well I'll have the skills on hand ya know. I sooo need to go dancing I'm feeling a little withdrawal, but alas it is not to be. I have no time to. Rather sad in fact. Such is life. Anyway back to happy subjects. I honestly can not wait to get back to ASL. I missed signing. I did some just cuz I couldn't stand it but yeah, I miss signing. and Church Holy cow it's so weird with out bible study or WNL or any event or anything. I miss being at church. But I don't miss school that can stay away lol. I guess you gotta take the good with the bad though. So I shall return to normal life tomorrow.


Posted by Mary at 11:12 AM



Saturday, January 01, 2005

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Ok so I have 5 min but I wanted to write on the 1st of 2005!! Happy New Year!! I have a few new things I want to do but no guarantees I don't want to label them and fully commit cuz that seems to never work. SO yeah. Thank you to everyone last year was pretty good. SO yeah I have to stop so it's on the 1st TTFN


Posted by Mary at 9:55 PM


About Me

My Life's Purpose is to Serve God In any way I can!

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