Saturday, November 27, 2004
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Well lets just see here. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving I did. Being at home alone is really rather fun (especially when u aren't alone the whole time lol). I think I've really stopped listening to some of my well friends I guess they still are. I used to have some great respect for them which being younger than me is hard to get. But they both have kinda just lost it with me. So many things they won't look into yet judge others based on the very same thing. I don't like drama and I don't like High School. It's much better than middle school yes, but at this point I'm very ready to be past it. I don't know if I'm ready to be on my own. I mean I know I'm self sufficient enough that I can be on my own and not die or anything like that, but do I really want all that responsibility? Do I want to be exposed to things that my brother and cousin are now experiencing? It's so hard to see Chistianity in college. I know I'll probably see a bit more of it because I'll be in a religious degree but so much of it is nothing what God would want it to be, or at least from my interpretation of the bible. So many people I respect and love have basically dropped the ball with me. No, not all love and respect for these people have gone but much of it has. I don't know what to think when role models aren't doing what you thought they would. I don't know if Jesus is really the only role model you can rely on but even then so much is unknown about Christ and so much you need person to person conversation. It seems so hopeless in this world to be a truly strong and "pure" Christian. I mean I have my beliefs of what a Christian should strive for, but in so many ways I fail that, and I see people around me failing also. I know no one is going to be perfect, but I always thought there should be the striving and the will power to do better than the average Joe. I guess I was wrong. Hopefully once I'm in college and really begin a new chapter in my life I'll be able to strive for what I believe should be done, and what I believe God is calling me to do to follow Him down that path. I know this will be the hardest thing I will ever do but that's what I feel God is calling me to face. Well there you have it. I just spilled my guts to a bunch of you that I know I would have never EVER said any of this to. I still want to publish this though in hopes that you will maybe better understand me and maybe learn something along the way. God Bless
Know that no matter what All things should be done out of Gods love
Posted by Mary at
9:52 AM
