Monday, November 29, 2004
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Well I finally sent my first college application. How exciting is that??? I think very. Man I hope I get in there. If I don't I'll be upset. So I have no clue what to do for my b-day things just won't work out like I want them too. So I'll probably end up doin nothing like normal. Le sigh. Maybe I'll just take a trip to San Antonio with a few friends and go shopping for an x-mas dress and things like that. But I would need friends to go and I know of no one that would wanna do that at this point or rather would be able to do that at this point. My dad suggested just driving back from Taylor after my train ride but that's boring the whole point was to be able to spend the day doing things in a different town. Well I might just do x-mas shopping with a someone I work with, she is really nice. So lets see. I think that's all I feel like updating with. Hope everyone has a great beginning of the week Smile lots God bless.
Posted by Mary at
10:08 AM
Saturday, November 27, 2004
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Well lets just see here. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving I did. Being at home alone is really rather fun (especially when u aren't alone the whole time lol). I think I've really stopped listening to some of my well friends I guess they still are. I used to have some great respect for them which being younger than me is hard to get. But they both have kinda just lost it with me. So many things they won't look into yet judge others based on the very same thing. I don't like drama and I don't like High School. It's much better than middle school yes, but at this point I'm very ready to be past it. I don't know if I'm ready to be on my own. I mean I know I'm self sufficient enough that I can be on my own and not die or anything like that, but do I really want all that responsibility? Do I want to be exposed to things that my brother and cousin are now experiencing? It's so hard to see Chistianity in college. I know I'll probably see a bit more of it because I'll be in a religious degree but so much of it is nothing what God would want it to be, or at least from my interpretation of the bible. So many people I respect and love have basically dropped the ball with me. No, not all love and respect for these people have gone but much of it has. I don't know what to think when role models aren't doing what you thought they would. I don't know if Jesus is really the only role model you can rely on but even then so much is unknown about Christ and so much you need person to person conversation. It seems so hopeless in this world to be a truly strong and "pure" Christian. I mean I have my beliefs of what a Christian should strive for, but in so many ways I fail that, and I see people around me failing also. I know no one is going to be perfect, but I always thought there should be the striving and the will power to do better than the average Joe. I guess I was wrong. Hopefully once I'm in college and really begin a new chapter in my life I'll be able to strive for what I believe should be done, and what I believe God is calling me to do to follow Him down that path. I know this will be the hardest thing I will ever do but that's what I feel God is calling me to face. Well there you have it. I just spilled my guts to a bunch of you that I know I would have never EVER said any of this to. I still want to publish this though in hopes that you will maybe better understand me and maybe learn something along the way. God Bless
Know that no matter what All things should be done out of Gods love
Posted by Mary at
9:52 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
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Well I officially think I'm the most indecisive and the most firm in my beliefs it's kinda weird really cuz something I'm really strong headed about and others I just won't make up my mind. I guess that's part of being a teenage girl. Wow you know I never really just thought of myself as a teenage girl which I guess is rather arrogant thinking I'm not one but as I've said before I need to work on that. But in reality I am and I still have a lot to learn. I wish I could learn it faster than I am. Get to that place where I at least am strong enough to be on my own and know enough not to make too many mistakes. I know life's always going to be a learning process I just want to know so much more and school isn't teaching me what I wanna know. I wish they did though. Like how to live in the real world. I know you need common knowledge and that's becoming so apparent to me now a days but I just want it to come faster than it is. Well anyway that's my babble today I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and remembers all the blessing God gives you everyday!
Posted by Mary at
6:33 PM
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
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Well lets see what to say. So In youth we had this really AWESOME video that some seniors were laughing in the background which was really bad cuz it was on sex and that's just dumb that they laughed oh well. Anyway it was really cool and I thought of someone as I watched it totally not who I thought I would think of. Though Julie assured me it's just because I've talked with the person on the subject but then again I've talked with a few people on the subject so I donno. God has a plan I shouldn't worry. So I'm going up to Abline for Thanksgiving I'm really not too excited it's funny though I'm more excited about Julies Grandma coming than I am about seeing the ones I'm seeing for Thanksgiving. Only 4 more school days btw WOW that's soo close I can't wait. I need some time off. Though I will have to work that weekend hopefully it will be fun with lots of people. Well I think that's enough of an update. If you want to know more you should know my phone number and if you don't I'm pretty sure it's online somewhere lol.
Posted by Mary at
8:34 PM
Sunday, November 14, 2004
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Ok so I was told I needed to update but I don't really know what to write about. I kinda wanna be fired. My boss is going to down size his staff and I kinda sorta would like to be down sized just so I have and excuse not to work anymore so I have time for friends and studies again. My dad said he didn't want me to find another job if that happened until summer. Which I personally would be just fine with. But somehow I think Matt likes me considering he's always really nice and gives me more hrs that others even when they are more available so ya know. And he just taught me how to do the ice cream and I don't think he would do that if he didn't want me working longer. Though you know what would be good would be getting fired temporarily like just until he opened his new store in June or something. That would be the best. Oh well. Ok enough on work. I guess I'll stop I donno what else to write about. Tootles
Posted by Mary at
8:46 PM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
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Ok so I guess it's time for a small update on my blog. Sometimes my mom is the best in the world I think. Then other times she is just soo stupid. Argh. I know they say when you're older your parents get smarter well yeah my mom is smart and a lot of what she says is interesting and good to listen too but sometimes DANG she just falls off a cliff with ill logic. I don't understand some of her ways. I guess I'm not ment to but oh well.
Ketchup, Mustard, Mayo, and Hot sauce!!! FUN stuff hehe. Best Friends always have fun lol. Oh and staying up rather late and getting up really early make lots of things funnier than they should be it's fun for a while till you passout hehe.
Well there you have it.
Posted by Mary at
5:02 PM
Monday, November 08, 2004
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Well ok so today was the first day that I just didn't wanna "get out of here" cuz of the weather and yeah. I actually wanna go to college and get out of the house. It's kinda interesting cuz I've been saying that I'm ready for a while today I actually felt it, and that I'm ready to move past the youth group. I donno maybe it's cuz I've been thinking about tithing and how I wanna do that and taking on all that crud I donno. But I really felt out of place at the YLT meeting cuz I'm so much older. Even at bible study I felt a tad out of place. I guess I'm getting a taste of how David P feels a lot. I still wanna work with youth I think but I'd def need a place to be filled without youth present when the time comes that I could be a youth minister. Well so yeah that's my speal for today. Hope everyone is enjoying this AMAZING weather and the beautiful sunset today WOW God is GOOD!!
Wow I just did spell check on this post and there were soo many wanna's and donno's and I's in there. I'm rather selfish when I speak here hu? I guess that's one of my major flaws is I think about myself how I feel and what I want but I don't much do things for the other person. Granted I follow what Christ teaches about treating others but I guess I just did it in the polite way and never really looked at me being a total servant for others. If I've neglected my relationship somehow with you recently I'm sorry. I know there is a bunch of you and I'll try to amend things on a personal basis but I want you to know now that I'm sorry even if it's extremely hard for me right now I want you to know that I do realize it and I'm sorry.
Posted by Mary at
8:02 PM
Sunday, November 07, 2004
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Ok so I feel like writing but I have yet nothing interesting to write about. I'm so lame sometimes. argh. I want to have some deep discussion that isn't about relationships or those type of emotions. I know I see to be the person to go to with that and I don't mind it at all I just wish there was some deep convo that wasn't on that occasionally. I mean it just kinda leaves me wanting a bf and I know I can't handle one right now. I just couldn't unless it was very superficial and I know I don't want that. SO if you do talk to me about relations don't feel bad that's so not what I'm trying to get at I just wanna have convos that aren't sometimes. I guess that's one good thing about having a bf is that relationship convo goes way down and deeper things come way up or at least they have in the past I guess we'll see. ok so that's my babble byes
Posted by Mary at
8:18 PM
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
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Once I thought I did want nothing more than to have the chance to be with you. It wasn't to be so. Lost in hope I was blinded to what you were really telling me. It's amazing how simple it is to blind yourself to what you do not wish to see. At least I wasn't blind enough to trip and fall on my face, I just did a little stumble. Nothing major. Ups and Downs, forward and backward, side to side life goes round. Well not really round just in an interesting line if you call it that it's got so many twists and turns who knows besides God how this all really work. You know I used to think I was great at puzzles until I met the puzzle of life, now I'm not so good anymore.
Posted by Mary at
11:08 PM
Monday, November 01, 2004
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Happiness is so fun to bring to people with just a simple song. That's one reason I love singing at Coldstone and at church. It's fun and if nothing else it makes one person smile. (me usually lol) I wish I had someone to just talk for hrs. with I know many of my friends would but no one has the time including me. It's sad in this world how no one has time for things like that anymore. In older days people worked harder and somehow had a peaceful life where sitting on the porch at sunset and by the fire with family around just enjoying each other and talking sharing what wisdom you had. That would be so wonderful. Sometimes I truly wish that we could slow life down and other times I honestly love everything I do even with all the time constraints. Life is just fickle like that I guess. Though I must admit I really hate routine but that's how things function correctly. Maybe when I'm out of college I'll be able to earn enough money to just travel and not worry about schedules except when to get on the plane again to leave. Maybe interpreting will give me some way to do that. Just live all different places for like a year or so and enjoy that place then move again. I don't want many material possessions so hopefully moving won't be bad. The only thing is to do this I could never have kids. Not that I mind this but I just hope I find a guy that won't mind it either. We shall see where God chooses to lead me. Ok well that's enough babble if there is anything that you would like to know about me just leave a comment and we'll see if I can write on the subject. Tootles. God Bless
Posted by Mary at
2:41 PM
