Saturday, October 16, 2004
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Well I donno what to say or how to say what I'm thinking so I'm just gonna try to let words flow and we'll see what comes out. Sometimes looking into someone's eyes is almost like embracing an emotion with them. I usually don't look into peoples eyes sometimes I see things I didn't want to. One person crossed that boundary tonight and told me so much through that. I donno what to think of it. I donno how to feel. I donno if I want to feel. There is one person I do so want to feel for. However, that person and I will probably never get that chance. It's sad sometimes how human desires influence (that's not the right word) our actions. I wonder sometimes why things workout the way they do. I hope I see the bigger picture sooner than later. You know it's weird reading back over this it seems so choppy compared to my actual thoughts while writing this. Kinda amazing. I wonder if all of life is like that. So much more choppy than we think it is or feel it is. I wonder if that is what makes or destroys an actor. Some people are so weird. One year you are so close the next you rarely see each other and then one day you meet again and it's not like old times and you know there is a huge gap but there is some sort of connection there. I'm honestly really not familiar with it. I donno. I'm so anti social I donno what to think of a lot of things. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cut out to be a Youth Minister but then right after that I get this overwhelming feeling that that's what I need to do who I need to be. It's so weird to feel such assurance when I really don't I know it's God speaking it's just so strong and definite I haven't had that before. Ok lots of babble about stuff you probably don't understand sorry I'll go now byes
Posted by Mary at
9:06 PM
