Thursday, October 28, 2004
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WOW ok so I haven't updated in while. Lets see not much is new besides leadership problems. I donno sometimes I guess I expect too much from people. I think I expect them to actually want to be in and do what they sign up for but that just doesn't happen. Well I'm off much luv byes
Posted by Mary at
8:45 PM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
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Ok so lets see. This weekend was sooo going to be my catch up weekend. yeah not so much anymore. Oh well. Life goes on. Tonight almost felt like a dance to me I'm so not sure why. But what I did do was handle tens of thousands of dollars worth of art work. It was really cool. I donno why but I really like helping with those kinda things. I guess just watching people spend lots of money is entertaining and just being useful. How this is similar to a dance i still donno but ya know emotions are weird and neurons are fickle i decided. Gosh everyone so needs cool friends that will cuddle with you sometimes knowing there is nothing between ya'll but just enjoying sitting in each others arms it's so nice. Knowing that someone will express their friendship with you through touch is really nice. You know sometimes I wish I had all the money I could ever need just to give away and give things to people. I know that so doesn't build their character but everyone needs a little something sometimes and others need help with the basics and you just can't do everything which is upsetting. Sigh. Well I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend and starts out this new week with a new smile. God Bless
Posted by Mary at
9:32 PM
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Well life is hard. Ok well not life nessisarily emotions are hard. I'm starting not to like them so much. Sometimes I just don't want to care and some times I just don't care enough. Goodness. You know I complain a lot here it's kinda sad. I donno why people read this it's all my griping. ok well i'm done bye
Posted by Mary at
4:37 PM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
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Ok so when I was hyper I had a lot more to say now I don't so much. Well lets see what I can say. Being hyper is fun though it provides no sleep oh well. Hum I so got given a number by this 25 year old at coldstone today. It was well interesting to say the least I'll tell you more on that if you wanna know. Um so I was sitting at this light and I swear I'm not nuts but I inched forward and the song on the radio changed and I inched again and it went back to the old song. Neither of which were static at all it was really weird being as hyper as I was I started laughing really loud lol. Lets see I was sooo dancing around the store today. I was soooo hyper. Man I donno exactly what triggered it but I was nuts. It was so much fun. hehe lemmie tell ya. This one couple just laughed at me the whole time that was funny. But hey my hyperness did get me lots and lots of tips it was really nice. Sad news I have to work Sunday so I miss CR. But I do get to go to homecoming this way which is nice. This year I think I will be disappointed come Friday but le sigh such is life. I don't have many friends I realized. It's kinda sad really. I donno what exactly to think about it. I wish I had more friends. I don't even really need close ones just people to do things with outside of school and church. Maybe come see me at Coldstone or I go see them at their work or whenever I can. Oh well. God has a plan I know it. Well I'm now off cuz I don't want to let you in on any other of my thoughts this morning so I will write again later tootles
Posted by Mary at
11:54 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
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Well I donno what to say or how to say what I'm thinking so I'm just gonna try to let words flow and we'll see what comes out. Sometimes looking into someone's eyes is almost like embracing an emotion with them. I usually don't look into peoples eyes sometimes I see things I didn't want to. One person crossed that boundary tonight and told me so much through that. I donno what to think of it. I donno how to feel. I donno if I want to feel. There is one person I do so want to feel for. However, that person and I will probably never get that chance. It's sad sometimes how human desires influence (that's not the right word) our actions. I wonder sometimes why things workout the way they do. I hope I see the bigger picture sooner than later. You know it's weird reading back over this it seems so choppy compared to my actual thoughts while writing this. Kinda amazing. I wonder if all of life is like that. So much more choppy than we think it is or feel it is. I wonder if that is what makes or destroys an actor. Some people are so weird. One year you are so close the next you rarely see each other and then one day you meet again and it's not like old times and you know there is a huge gap but there is some sort of connection there. I'm honestly really not familiar with it. I donno. I'm so anti social I donno what to think of a lot of things. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cut out to be a Youth Minister but then right after that I get this overwhelming feeling that that's what I need to do who I need to be. It's so weird to feel such assurance when I really don't I know it's God speaking it's just so strong and definite I haven't had that before. Ok lots of babble about stuff you probably don't understand sorry I'll go now byes
Posted by Mary at
9:06 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
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Well lets see can I update?? I've tried a few times but I'm lazy what can I say. There is so much I want to say and so little I want read. How interesting isn't that lol. I keep thinking I have more hw than I really do. It's kinda interesting. Well to think about at least. Ok well Mary doesn't want to write anymore and I probably won't for a while so if you want to know me or what I might be thinking you'll just have to actually talk to me what an amazing thought hu. Tootles
Posted by Mary at
8:00 PM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
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Well Ok so update that I guess is much needed. I got my senior pics back and they look horrible so I'm not letting anyone see them. I'll get better ones later ya'll can see. Life is crazy fun busy. I'm kinda enjoying it minus the 2am nights and 5 or 7am mornings. Those are not too fun luckily coffee does have an effect on me lol. SO if you don't know some guy threatened to kill me which was really scary but I'm kinda sick of talking about it and thinking about it. It was just scary. I have the SAT's this weekend which STINKS but oh well. If I don't survive have fun with the nothingness that I own lol. Lets see what else to talk about. If you didn't know I have this HUGE bruise that is so fun to show off it's all colorful!! If you didn't know I love bruises besides how much they hurt but they are fun to show off I think anyway. lol I'm a freak I know. I think it's what I get for being a tom boy when I was little. I so got into all that kinda stuff. Though I have no scars to show I don't ever get really hurt. Well ok so one on my knee from falling off my bike and some one my feet from shoes but other than that nothin. Part of me wants to break something just to know what it's like or get stitches just to have them. I did mention I was a freak right?? SO yeah that's enough of a huge run on paragraph Tootles God Bless
Posted by Mary at
5:43 PM
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Ok so why is it when my sister is late I get chewed out??? Why is it that she can cry and get me in trouble?? How is it that she can cry one min and not the next?? Why don't people understand what middle school was for me?? Why is it that mom can be so nice to her and yet bitchy at me??? I don't understand these things. Why do I have such a low tolerance for people who have no common sense??? Is it cuz it was hammered into me?? I wish I didn't' get so upset at these things they really aren't worth it but at the same time why do they happen it's sooo stupid that they happen in the first place. Sigh I hope church helps it normally does. I can not go a full week without it I can't handle it. Well I'm off God Bless
Posted by Mary at
3:27 PM
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OK so Julie and I had much fun tonight just ask and I'll lay out the story hehehe. Or Julie can too. So it's def weird to see someone you've liked for a long time just never told anyone. It's weird to have that feeling that you just wanna hold his hand or hug him all the time. It's weird thinking about all the fun you would have. Yet you know that it'll never be that even if he has the slightest chance of liking you too neither of you would A) admit it B) go for a relationship C) say anything to anyone else about it. I think it's weird maybe that's me. Who knows.
Well I love work. It's sooo much fun. However I so cannot work that much anymore. Maybe like once or twice a week and on Sat but all week is BAD BAD BAD BAD. Mary can't handle that again. It darn near killed me by Friday, and then Sat I wouldn't move. Lol. So yeah.
I miss people. My church family my real family. I can't not go to church anymore I need them. I need to do stuff at church. I can so not wait until my life revolves around working at a church. You have no idea how much fun I see that being and how much I would absolutely love it. Even with the stress I know goes with it. I just can't think of anything more enjoyable than working at a church all day every day. yeah I can't wait to get into a college that will teach me all religion things that so fascinate me.
Ok well rents are griping and that's enough of a book TOotles. Luv ya God Bless HUGS
Posted by Mary at
9:03 PM
