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Ok well I feel like I haven't updated in forever though I know it really hasn't been that long but yeah. David left today that was really really sad. I totally wasn't ready for that. sigh. But anyway. I've read three books this summer I'm so impressed with myself. I usually hate reading but now I read a lot. I guess that's a good thing from not being on AIM. I started getting all my mum stuff together so I don't wait until last min as I usually do. I'm so hoping that not having band will free things up for me. I know I'll be busy with YLT but at the same time I know I'll have a lot more free time. So my rents were gone this weekend and I was babysittin it was interesting especially considering the fact that I was exhausted from last week. (which btw was wonderful) I cooked and David helped (we make a really good team!!) It was fun. We cleaned and that made life a little more enjoyable. We also actually got the girls out of the house for 2 hrs a day that was danged amazing. Though it's so sad cuz when I was little I was out of the house all the time and these little girls ask us what is there to do outside. I mean holy cow USE YOUR IMAGINATION!!! Shoot I'm 17 and play on playgrounds like a 2 year old. If I can find that fun then they can come up with something fun to do out there. Or at least one would think so. ( so I'm not spacing anything out nor am I indenting sorry I'm lazy lol) Humm so I'm sitting here listening to Bebo and totally wanting to dance to it but some of his songs feel like you should dance to them but I have NO clue how you could they are just kinda fun songs with out a specific dance beat to them. I don't want to move on to this year. I'm scared, worried, among many other feelings that lead to I just don't want to start school yet I do and I don't want this to be my last year here. Yet I can't wait to get away from Texas yet I'll leave everyone. Most of my friends are going to UT or something around here. That's close to the last thing I wanna do. Somehow I don't see much choice. Though I know New Mexico really isn't that far away it's too far to just hang out on a weekend. I donno. I'm trying so hard to just give this all to God cuz I know I should life would be wonderful if I could but I'm so just kinda stuck. Cuz I know there's a lot I have to do I can't just leave it to God cuz it's more physical than that. It's so hard. I know it's not going to be easy but I just wish I knew more of how to handle it than I do. I have so much to learn. I feel old yet so young.
Posted by Mary at
10:40 AM
