Thursday, August 26, 2004
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Well lets see what to write. I had a wish that I did at 4:44 yesterday come true hehehe. That was fun. I throughly was entertained. Now if only today's will come true lol. I wanna go get the new Bebo CD but a no money b no time and c no money lol. So I'm stuck without if for a while. But I am getting a job if I didn't say that last time. I think I did. But yeah I'm excited money is always Good!! Well I must return to the library and do hw. Tootles!!
Posted by Mary at
5:16 PM
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Well It seems like a while since I've updated so here I go. Monday was well Monday. Though MUCH better than last Monday but that really isn't saying a whole lot. A certain person got out of my BIMM class so I'm kinda happy about that. Though You know what I've noticed. I am so much meaner now that we're back in school. It's not good at all. I just like turn into miss meany. I wish I knew what caused it so I could change it and go back the way I was I was much happier that way. I def. Need help in that area. I know what I should do I guess I just donno how at school. Anywhere else it's fine just not at school. What's sad is I'm sitting here wearing Christian shirts being mean and disagreeable. I'm not like being over mean I'm more normal than not. But as a Christian wearing Christian shirts I really should be better than normal like I normally am. Not to be arrogant but I did work hard to be nicer than not and now I'm back to miss mean. It's really a struggle for me at the moment. Sigh. Ok that's def enough of that. I GET TO WATCH THE SUNSET!!! YAY for me I haven't done that since Pizzazz. lol. Well Olympics are coming on soon and I must watch Tootles
Posted by Mary at
5:41 PM
Saturday, August 21, 2004
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So now I member why I hate shopping. That's what we did all morning it was rather annoying I donno if it was cuz it was with my mom and my sis's or just the fact that I detest pant shopping. I've had most of my pants sense middle school just cuz I hate it so much. Now that I gained like 15 pounds none of them fit anymore. How depressing. sigh. So I'm really not going to see my cousin at all this weekend how poopy is that?? I think very. I donno what I'm going to do with myself. Probably just do hw so I don't have to stay up all night Monday. Though I'm not starting a thing until after I get a nap with some enjoyable reading. sigh. I'm going to go before I dwell too long on how shot my weekend it is . Tootles
Posted by Mary at
10:46 AM
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Well today was interesting. I wore my Cherry skirt and got lots of stares and compliments. Though about half the compliments were from teachers lol. Anyway I had this little junior (I think) hit on me. It was extremely funny and quite entertaining. At least I thought so. This evening was a little disappointing my cousin didn't get to come by I was kinda hoping to see all of them but oh well. Lunch was a disappointment also. I thought I was going to have 3rd lunch and get to eat with Julie and David D but our weird teacher gave us 1st instead that kinda stunk. Sigh. Oh well. Life goes on. So yeah I gave up doing things for my cousin and nothing seems to work out I might just stop doing that. I mean at this point I might as well study and it's FRIDAY NIGHT. Ugh . HAHAHA high school drama lol. Well I'm applying to this ice cream shop now and should get the job cuz my dad is cool and has connections lol. So that will be interesting. Anyway that's my life at the moment trying to avoid the regular ho hums of school and hw. Tootles God Bless
Posted by Mary at
5:53 PM
Thursday, August 19, 2004
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Ok I soo tried to post yesterday and it wouldn't let me so we're trying again today. Things are getting much better as school progresses. So that's good. I'm probably getting a job at an ice cream place which isn't good for my i'm trying to loose weight policy, but hey it's money. I hope to go to the bebo concert thats free in waco but I just donno if i'll be able to make it. Which would royally sux. David isn't comming until late which stinks but hopefully I'll get to spend time with them. I miss havin David around. He's so much fun. ANyway I'm so glad I have Julie around. Man I'd go insane without that girl. We have so started finishing each others sentances and reading thoughts it's really gonna kinda cool.
Posted by Mary at
4:03 PM
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You know what's cool?? I was having a bad day today then on the way home from multiple church activities a one way sign had been hit and bent. The way it bent was up. Totally changed my mood right there on the road in that intersection. Amazing how God does that. Was def. my God moment of the day!!
Posted by Mary at
8:41 PM
Saturday, August 14, 2004
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Well lets see if I can make this less depressing. Things are kinda smoothing over around the family thank you so much for your concern and prayers. Today has been rather relaxing. Spending the night at Julies was nice we needed to catch up. We didn't even watch one Johnny Depp movie. How amazing is that?? Tonight I finally get to go to an Express game. I've only been to like 2 this year kinda sad really but things are changing. I'm excited about tonight though it should be lots of fun! I read some pretty cool verses this week in our YLT daily planner thing that has a scripture every day. I'm really enjoying that I'm so glad I'm getting connected with the church like I am. It was def time. You know what's kinda sad is I'm starting to feel ok about leaving. Yet I have this gut feeling I'll be staying here. Sigh. I guess I really should just let go and let God but it's hard. lol. Well now I must be off to do somethings instead of just sitting on my tush all day hehe. tootles SMILES God bless!
Posted by Mary at
1:17 PM
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OK so James is a ROYAL ASS HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know most of you know during middle school I was suicidal well no worries now I'm fine found my faith through that. I always had a strong base in faith through my rents but that's when I made my faith my own I have no regrets from it or that time in my life. I would not want to live it again however it's made me who I am and God had a plan for that. Since I have helped people in similar situations or getting close to that situation. It's created a great understanding for me. HOWEVER. My Mother would find it a SERIOUS character flaw and would blame herself for it when in reality it really isn't her fault. So in result of that I never told her about it she didn't need to know and still doesn't need to know about it. James thought it would be a good idea to tell her today though using it as part of one of his stupid arguments and now my mom has certain thoughts about me and my behavior. TOTALLY messing up my relationship with her now. HE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO THAT TO ME DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can fuck up his own damn relationship with our rents but can't he leave mine alone. I was happy where it was, they were happy with where it was. WHY THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE HAS THE RIGHT TO FUCK UP OUR RELATIONS TRYING TO MAKE A DAMN POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!!!! Now all this is being brought up again and I can see the hurt in my mom's eyes when she asked me about it. I don't want to hurt her. I'm past it. Now I know she will question her ability to be a mother like she does with James. DAMN IT HE NEEDS TO FUCK OFF Freakin marry Holly and get the hell out of our lives. He only messes everything up. I can't wait until he goes to college so we don't have this crap anymore. Ok I'm done venting for right now however I'm still upset venting isn't going to help with that. If ya'll who read this could pray for peace in my family it would mean the world to me. Thank you. God Bless.
Posted by Mary at
1:20 PM
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Wow I woke up this morning at 7 on my own and got to see the sunrise. I haven't done that like all summer!! That's one thing I will def miss about colorguard is see that everymorning. But hopefully Julie and I will go walking somewhere were I can still see it and there aren't too many trees. Anna and I went jogging today it was delightful! The weather here is AMAZING right now def a God given gift!! I'm lovin it hehe. I'm in such a good mood this morning! Last night was pretty good I didn't go see the band perform and I didn't go see Eric and Steve play hockey. I didn't watch Johnny Depp, I didn't do anything really. But the one thing I did do made me smile and wake up with a smile as well. I don't think anyone but Julie could know what I'm talking about and even then I'm sure she'll be a little confused at first. But yeah Mary is in a great mood hehe Ta
Posted by Mary at
6:20 AM
Thursday, August 12, 2004
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Hey Everyone sorry it's been a bit sense I updated. I've been busy at the church mainly this week. Nothing too special just cleaning and such got some of the ski trip stuff started which is exciting times ten!!! I made a list of things I need to go today and well it's rather long amazingly enough. Or really they are just things I wanna do before school starts Monday though a few are much better done today rather than later. I woke up so late today it was really nice. I set my alarm for 7 so I knew I could wake up and I did but then I went back to bed until 9:15ish. That was nice. Though it's the last time I can do that. Which is probably better for me anyway. I wanna go dancing or get all dressed up for no reason. I think that would be fun I'm feeling really girlie right now. Not sure why though. So yeah. Well I best get started on my things to do call my cell and leave a message if you wanna talk to me. (don't leave messages with my family they don't member (I did get my forgetfulness somewhere) and my cell doesn't ring so I won't answer but if you leave some sort of message I promise I'll respond unless it's to late or something) As Julie would say Ta
Posted by Mary at
8:09 AM
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Ok well I feel like I haven't updated in forever though I know it really hasn't been that long but yeah. David left today that was really really sad. I totally wasn't ready for that. sigh. But anyway. I've read three books this summer I'm so impressed with myself. I usually hate reading but now I read a lot. I guess that's a good thing from not being on AIM. I started getting all my mum stuff together so I don't wait until last min as I usually do. I'm so hoping that not having band will free things up for me. I know I'll be busy with YLT but at the same time I know I'll have a lot more free time. So my rents were gone this weekend and I was babysittin it was interesting especially considering the fact that I was exhausted from last week. (which btw was wonderful) I cooked and David helped (we make a really good team!!) It was fun. We cleaned and that made life a little more enjoyable. We also actually got the girls out of the house for 2 hrs a day that was danged amazing. Though it's so sad cuz when I was little I was out of the house all the time and these little girls ask us what is there to do outside. I mean holy cow USE YOUR IMAGINATION!!! Shoot I'm 17 and play on playgrounds like a 2 year old. If I can find that fun then they can come up with something fun to do out there. Or at least one would think so. ( so I'm not spacing anything out nor am I indenting sorry I'm lazy lol) Humm so I'm sitting here listening to Bebo and totally wanting to dance to it but some of his songs feel like you should dance to them but I have NO clue how you could they are just kinda fun songs with out a specific dance beat to them. I don't want to move on to this year. I'm scared, worried, among many other feelings that lead to I just don't want to start school yet I do and I don't want this to be my last year here. Yet I can't wait to get away from Texas yet I'll leave everyone. Most of my friends are going to UT or something around here. That's close to the last thing I wanna do. Somehow I don't see much choice. Though I know New Mexico really isn't that far away it's too far to just hang out on a weekend. I donno. I'm trying so hard to just give this all to God cuz I know I should life would be wonderful if I could but I'm so just kinda stuck. Cuz I know there's a lot I have to do I can't just leave it to God cuz it's more physical than that. It's so hard. I know it's not going to be easy but I just wish I knew more of how to handle it than I do. I have so much to learn. I feel old yet so young.
Posted by Mary at
10:40 AM
Saturday, August 07, 2004
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Ok wow So the craziness is over so I'm updating a little. Though A lot of what's happened this week will remain to be discovered later.
Pizzazz was great. So tiring but completely wonderful. It touches just about every aspect of your life and either just makes you ponder about it or changes it. It's really kinda a renewal thing for me. Or at least it was this year. 6 flags was fun, I normally have band and can't go so this is really just my second time to go with the church on the fun pizzazz trip. I enjoyed. David drug me on Mr. Freeze which thoroughly freaked me out and was not enjoyable. Normally I'm good with Roller Coasters but I don't like going backwards nor do I like being forced to do something I don't want to. So yeah. Derek and I hung out on the roller coasters we didn't wanna go on which was nice to not have to do things and just sit and talk and such. We had such an amazing group though. It was a blessing.
Yesterday Derek, Cara, David and I went to Hamilton Pool that was much fun! It's so pretty there. And we actually got to swim this time and made a day out of it so we went down to the river as well where there weren't many people. I got a Huge bruise from falling on a rock but it's all good. Standing under the waterfall was amazing. It was like a warm shower though the water you would stand in right under the hot water was literally FREEZING! It was quite bizarre. My dad says there is some giant catfish there which I don't really believe but it's def. Deep and murky enough that you couldn't tell if there was. So yeah.
I'm so very behind on my e-mail sending. I'm attempting to send everyone about a weekly e-mail or reply to anyone who sends me one but I'm rather off lol. I guess I'll start up again today. so yeah. Well I'm off to cook I'm home with the little girls this weekend so I have to cook clean and take car of things so yeah. Tootles
Posted by Mary at
9:48 AM
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Sorry for not updating sooner I've been extremely busy with Pizzazz. Getting there really early to help set up tables and such so yeah. It's been really amazing though. Especially tonight.
Yesterday we worked in some community gardens that give 1/10 to this place that feeds homeless people. It was really cool. I'm not going to share all that happened for me there that's personal but just know it was amazing to see things from where I am in my faith walk. Then the evening was pretty fun. I still don't like the band but oh well(they did do one song well tonight it was shocking). The speaker is Awesome. Though he does like to step on toes a lot he gets the point across to those who need it most.
Today we went to the Wesleyan Nursing Home. Well for me not liking to visit those places it went rather well. Again many stories that will be left untold for the time being. Tonight was interesting. I totally enjoyed BK and Adam finally playing. Man I miss it when I don't hear them often. They are just so good. Our church is so very blessed to had their talents with us. Our church seems to have lots of really talented people. We're very spoiled.
It was really interesting when Bill was speaking though. He talked about having a hard time in your life and my sister raised her hand. Makes me wonder a little bit what she is having problems with then I remembered she is in Middle school. Dang place. Oh well. I'm not sure what I'll do about it. I'm thinking the best thing to do would be to pray so if you are reading this please pray for her and everyone else who raised their hand in need of God's comfort.
I found myself in a really awkward thought this evening. To be able to talk about it I'll need to process more so maybe I'll rant about it later. Though I did discover all my stupid faces I make when talking watching the video I made. I really need to stop that it looks ridiculous not to mention like I'm a dorky immature snob. I never really realized I did them though. Hummm.
Ben did a really amazing job tonight. He really can go deep it's impressive. Well my thoughts are obviously random and not easily understood so I'm going to bed. Sorry Kimberly for not going swimming I wanted to but I don't have the energy. Good night to all.
Posted by Mary at
9:00 PM
